im thinking about buying a PDA... would come in handy and i dont know what i want tho... anyone got any ideas about a good one to get? i know it depends on what you wants, but i guess hat i want depends on what job i get and how much money i make over the summer.....

well im currently sat in philadelphia messing around having met hendryx, and am killing a bit of time before mentoring, at which point ill be having lots of fun ;-)
this morning, i got my hugely long shower which was well nice :) :) :)

yes, im feeling a little better, as you can probably tell by the excessive amount of smileys im using this afternoon.
hehehe i dont really have anything to blog about thats really hugely important, but i figured that i would seeing as i have access to it and it kills a bit of time.

well i do have one thing which is vaguely significant in some random roundabout way i guess...
as i was leaving to come down here, the police knocked on the door. apparently someone was attacked coming out of the subway next to my house last night. i wasnt around and didnt know anything about it, but from the descriptions theyve got i know who it was. 8pm its still light and that worries me. i dont like my estate. the fact that this happened in daylight emphasises why i dont like it. the fact that i probably know the people responsible and the fact that they dont like me very much at all is also not helpful. people often have a stress at me for wandering around on my own in the dark but the fact of the matter is that compared with the place i live, its much safer, and growing up in that environment means that i can cope with things like that. i know it isnt as bad as the places where you have huge amounts of gun crime, but guns are carried, and used, but they are long distance weapons, when you face a gang of 6 boys who are armed with 2 golf clubs, a length of pipe and a baseball bat, and an assorment of knives, guns arent that scary anymore. im not showing of, claiming that im hugely streetwise or whatever, im just stating the fact that for me, walking along infirmary road at 10pm at night, or walking through arbourthorne in the dusktime isnt an issue at asll. i feel at lot safer there than i do walking down my path at 3pm in the summer.

and just one other thing i guess.
i am currently unable to make anything i say come across in the way it was intended.
seems that im making mountains into molehills or trivialising important things, and for that im sorry.

i want to apologise to everyone for everything ive said over the course of this week. doesnt matter what it was. it wont have been right, and one good piece of advice to have is that if you cant think of anything nice to say dont say it-
well i can think of plenty of nice things to say, i just cant say them it seems, so im not going to say anything i dont think.

i may still write on here, but bear in mind that it may come across the wrong way or just be plain wrong.

sara

well, there was no ice cream, but in raiding the cupboard found a tin of peaches, got severely shouted at for walking around with the lid up and drinking the juice.... SO!!!! also mum gave me a chocolate orange egg and spoon thing, which was VERY sweet, which was cool. so spaceballs became hilarious, i cant actually remember having seen it, though i know that i have....
i really want blazing saddles on tape as well..thats a hilarious film...

by the way michael winslow rocks, you will have all seen him, but not necessarily knowing his name. the guy is a GENIUS!
you will have all seen a poilice academy film in your time, its impossible not to have¬!!! well, he is the guy who plays 'Jones' the one who makes all the noises to everything- what a talent!!! big up to him!

today will be an interesting day...
im going to really start it with a nice loooooooooong shower. not had one for a few days, theyve been quick dive in wash hair wash self efforts..... a long one involves starting off quite cool and gradually increasing the temperature to as hot as i can stand and then cool it back down again..... mmmmmmmmm. then its into the nitty gritty.... not that its a bad day, then im off to meet hendryx to chat for a little bit, and then meeting ruth at 5.30.... nuff said...;-)
then small group... which could prove very interesting.

ive decided i want to go abroad. i dont care how or what i do, i can think of some zany ways to justify it and stuff but i guess i want to go and DO somethign as opposed to just being there... my next 'holiday' is sorted... im going to spend it in lake bled. dont know when.... couldnt even tell you when my last holiday was, like one thats out of sheffield and no work involved and nothing to do.... i dont really like them too much to be honest, but in lake bled i can go to other places, go walking in the alps, swim int he lake, travel to the nearby crystal clear lakes, go into ljubjiana, and dependant when i go and if i can by then, skiing, luge, diving, lots of actiony things....
lake bled is only 2 hours coach journey to salzburg austria as well, and northern italy is round the corner... and with flights havign good offers at the moment its actually more expensive for the coach from the airport to ljubjiana (can get there from vienna salzburg or venice , tho my choice would be vienna because you then come down through austria and through the alps which would be amazing, even if it is the longest coach journey, but continental coaches have legroom if no seatbelts or air conditioning, which is another plus point for the mountain routes- wont be anytthing like the venice-bled journey (44 celsius all the way there). bled is also renound for its storms, i was fortunate enough to catch a small one when i was htere before, and it was amazing, the thunder rolls around the lake, literally, the lightning looks amazing set onthe background of snow cappe mountains and a back drop of purple sky....... anyhow, enough romancing about where id like to go back. im really pleased i got to go there once, and if i can then ill go back one day.....
lol...
im gong to go shower now or ill not make three o clock.
ttyl.

okay, the choice ive gone with is spaceballs....
classic mel at his best.
what better than a star w2ars spoof.
hospital is next wednesday... 9.40 am okay, im off to watch it.... might foillow it up with three to tango...
wonder if theres anyhting sweet in the house...
really fancy some ice cream....
grrr there wont be any tho..
ttyl

am currently eating chicken and mushrooms in oyster sauce and egg fried rice for my tea....
mmmm
i think serious film therapy is in order tonight.....
do i go with martial arts heaven and jackie chan? lots of fighting but no real violence, or do i go with a sad soppy film that i know is likely to make you cry just so i can get some of this out cause its all doing my head in,
AAAAAAARRRRRRG!!!!
im really tempted just to let tomorrow not happen....i mean i could just not get up....
and yes, i am ashamed to say tht that is my mindset at the moment. im depressed. there i said it. big deal.
will come back when decided on film and let oyu know.... not that youre interested...

well, its been a bit of a weirdy day in the life of sara.
for a start... woke up with three new bruises on me, and a huge scratch/cut across my nose, althoguh i have no idea as to how i managed to get them cause ive not done anything.... if i did it in my 'sleep' i dont know what on cause i have no nails... interesting.....
also did the thing again of finally falling to sleep at around 5am... meaning i woke up at 7am, then i had to lay i bed for a while till i felt okay enough to get up when i did.
felt quite down today i guess, and it went amazingly slowly. also felt like all my efforts to be helpful really weren't. just one of those days i guess.... still at least i have daniel to keep me going...(those of you who dont know, chris got me daniel bedingfield- gotta get thru this for my birthday and it hasnt been left alone since- its amazing!) joel insists that its self torture....i dont think so....
im currently sat in uni using their pc's.... im being talked at. nice to know my opinion is worth something really. and i wish peopel wouldnt 'pick up vibes' when takling about somethign with someone,be it reading between the lines or what........especially when the person is pickign up 'vibes' about /my/ feelings about something which theyve got second hand from a conversation with someone else and the information given was only in passing.
im not very happy about that conversation but all he wants to do is argue it seems, so ive jsut set myself as being away.

www.popcap.com is a brill site for games, they work on PDA as well, it would almost be worth me getting one for that then,.... i dont know.. i need something handy to keep my diary/schedule in somethign which can do alerts and preferably synchronise withmy pc as well...tall order... still if thats the right way to go then im sure that it will happen.

grrr eds now having an "i want to know things to do with other band,..." im really tempted to just say stuff it.

grrrrrrr.

okay, this has been on my mind for a few days now, but i didnt want to have a mini rant cause i wanted to air my feelings with someone else who'd kinda started the process of me thinking about it, but i have now so i feel less like im backstabbing.
i dunno its almost like at the moment, i seem to be defined by being like people as opposed to myself, either that or as somethign which i really dont want to be seen as... was chatting about moving small groups/clusters and how in some ways i really dont want to because id just be seen as tagging on to a bunch of people. the phrase was then mentioned : 'everybody loves a kid sister' is this how im seen by people?? i dont want to be labelled as that. a kid sister.... someone who you allow to tag on with you, and put up with because its polite and you feel you should. thats not what i want to be. i want to be in a place where im welcomed for me, for the things i have to contribute, even if there isnt very much.... to quote what id said in an email: "im people's 'kid sister' only there because people feel obliged to put up with me. people hardly ever say "im pleased that were all together, cause i really like
you being part of us, or that im a valuable part of something"
i fully admit that part of this is probably my paranoia speaking, but even at the moment there are only three situations where that isnt the case, and one of those is way less desirable that the 'kid sister' scenario.
the other thing im getting really annoyed with is the comments of how like other people i am, or me being mini-someone, or a clone of someone, or a mixture of someone. HELLO! unique individual here, feeling not very unique at all.....
am i really that bland? that much of a copy cat? a sheep? is that what people want- someone who is like someone else? im sure it would make their job easier in terms of building a relationship... i dont want to be known for being like someone else, or having identical traits.... so what if i like eating salad?! id like people to know me for me, for the things which i have which noone else does, for my own contributions, to feel valued. if im just going to be compared with people then what is the point in trying to work out what my own identity is. ill just go back to having none. i know ive got a lot to work out and discover, but im sure that there are probably things which i have myself.... arent there?

okay my dad decided that he's going to go and get my bag for me...
he's on a bit of a guilt trip and thinks that its the only way to set things right, and he's being really stubborn about it. it is the means to an end, but i kinda feel like im taking advantage of this, not that i have a huge choice..... grrrr. maybe one day he'll listen to me.

hehe the adventure is /not/ over yet......
okay if i start at the beginining..... if i sound like im moaning or goin for attention, then what i have to say to you is: "get your life sorted!" im telling this story for two reasons, well three...
one of which is because its interesting... and i guess in some ways funny...

okay, well, i got my train okay in sheffield, arrived at the station half an hour early, got on, to find that it didnt go where the website said, but instead, via cheltenham spa and gloucester, which was okay, cause i get off in cardiff, so at birminham, i remove my headphones to find that due to a freight train breaking down between birmingham and cheltenham, they were cancelling the train at birmingham... (at this point, i panicked as i wasnt prepared for this, and i dont know birmingham new street as a station at all, and it is always really packed, and i dont like crowds at the best of times.....)... but for people travelling to newport cardiff and swansea theyd got a coach to take us to cheltenham station where we would get back on a train to continue the journey, and then gave us diections to the coach which was about 10minutes walk after getting out of the station and round lots of corners, so i was really panicking because this meant going out into birmingham and tryign to find this stupid place on a back street. eventually, i and several other people found it to be told that actually people bound for cardiff should make their way back to the station and board another train on platform 11 which is bound for bristol where a connection to cardiff can be caught, so i make my way eventually to platform 11 with 7minutes to go till the train is duek, and then it is announced over the tannoy that the trin id been sent for was actually at platform 1.... the other side of the station so completely disorientated and very panicky find the train and jump on, finding several other peopel from the original train on here, so that was okay, the train pulls out and then an announcement comes through, "due to a problem on the line, this train will run approximately 1 and a half to 2 hours late as we are diverting this, the 9.12 virgin trains service from birmingham new street to taunton calling at bristol, via oxford. (now my geography isnt very strong but even i know that bristol and oxford are at opposite sides of the country) so we go, and pass leamington spa, oxford and swindon, and then the train begins to slow down as it hits bristol parkway at which point, it is announced that it would be a lot easier for peopel travelling to cardiff and swansea to get a connection here as opposed to bristol temple meads which was previously stated, so a mass rush ensued to get off the train, and i was taken off the train by the crowds, and my holdall was behind me on the trian so i though id run round and get back on and grab it as that was the only viable way of getting it. however, a hold up on my carriage meant that the doors closed and the train pulled off about 3 seconds after id stepped off the train (which was by now 2.5 hours late) taking my holdall with it! so i run up to the office and explainthe deal to them, and the guy there was amazingly helpful. he tried ringing bristol temple meads but no answer, he then rang the othjer main stopping stations of the train to try and get it back, but no luck, and so im sat in bristol parkway waiting for news, and glance up at the screen and notice that cause of a problem with the line, all trains to cardiff are cancelled....
hmmm. so 3 and a half hours later, the trains are now runnign again, but the guy comes in to tell me that the train i got on at birmingham is coming thru the station again, and if id like i can check for my bag, although they didnt find it at its termination point,so i said yep, ill do that, and find the next train to cardiff leaves 15 minutes later that the train imgoing to check, so trhe guy ringds the train and lets them know that this is happening, however, the train is delayed a bit, and i nip on, dont find my stuff so decide that ill go to cardiff now anyhow,. eventually, at 4.47pm i get out of the train in cardiff.....
my original arrival time was 10.27am....

the adventure isnt over yet though, i need to get to bristol temple meads as they have found my holdall... but i have to go and collect it, as they wont send it to sheffield.....

Many things to be thankful for....
1. God kept me safe
2. God got me there
3. Even though i completely lost it at one point, God was bigger than anythign that was thrown at me.
4. God provided me with money to rekit myself
5. My holdall has been found, seemingly with everythign in it

i guess the overall thing i learnt was the step i took at around 1.30pm... id compeltely lost it i'd burst into tears, and sat and cried for half an hour, because i couldnt take anymore. everythign had gone wrong, three of the thigns which im quite scared of had happened, i was in a strange place, had no money to get anywhere or to get home, didnt know whether or not it was going to turn out okay, didnt know whether or not my ticket would get me to cardiff, cause of everything. felt really bad, like id ruined the weekend for everyone.... and i had to take the step of saying that i cant sort this out, only God can, and would have to and i was goign to have the faith that God would, and i wasnt going to take the crap of the day so far, and God came through. woohoo!!!!!

bristol will be interesting.... the only viable way to get there and back in a day is by train (unless someone wants to drive me- if so get in touch!) as coaches take 6 hours each way....i can see how it will go... im goign to be terrified, its the kinda thing that i know im vulnerable to, i will sit and panic all the way down there and all the way back, and i know that to get over that i need to do a lengthy train journey that goes okay, - its like falling off a bike, you have to get up and ride it again straight away... so prayer for a safe, hassle free journey and peace for me during it will be VERY MUCH appreciated.
okay, im done for now, will post more on the weekend later, but dad wants the pc, and im going to go out....
ttyl,
take care,
sara

okay, im back from wales.
im back and im safe for those of you who wondered.
for those of you who dont know nythign about it- i had a bit of an adventure.....
more later.

okay, well im up and currently eating breeakfast... just thought id prove it.
also .....
well done to these guys. i read about this event in the metro a month or so ago and was impressed. im glad they won!!!

i cant stay and chat now... need to finish packing, so ill love ya and leave you all (boo hoo)
anyone needs me then you know the number.....
see mostof ya sunday i guess.....
love you all!!
xx

okay, well i return home from quite an enjoyable evening, to find that my washing hasnt all dried yet.....
however, im not too worried, as im not going to go to bed really i dont think....
depends.... im well chuffed tho, cause chris got me the daniel bedingfield album for my birthday.... now i know that those of you who know me. know that my birthday was in november...... :-D
hehe
well... chris never really was the most punctual person;..... and i dont like shopping! so bad combo really...
will prolly post a bit later on, before i go... might go and try and get 3-4 hours sleep now. hope youre well,
sara
xx

hmmmm.... well that was an interesting night.
wanted to be in bed for like 12pm, which would gove me a fair amount of sleep. really wasnt tired at all, to the point where going to bed would be stupid... eventually got to bed at 3.30am.
did loads to try and make myself tired/go to sleep but it did not work. so tonight will be interesting, although i have to admit i am quite looking forwards to going to see chris.... i havent seen him for a while properly, we went to the cinema a couple of weeks ago, but ed was around so its always a lil awkward for me anyhow in that situation.
quie a busy day in the end for me.... need to finish packing, hope that my trousers arrive, hoope that my mum actually takes my combats in... otherwise i have nothing to wear!
lol... aaaaanyway. i spose i better go get ready....
have a good day y'all, may well post again before i leave.....
if not then if anyone wants me then im avaliable on my mobile (kindof)
byeee
xx

okay, well, i went to pack the box to take to wales which was fine, and then went to the makowers for a final meeting for wales, which was also good, had a really lovely meal, and just had a laugh, xept joel was being really mean.. grrr but its okay,
then went to 7pm prayers, which was really good...
then things went downhill......

i left,and looked to the bus stop where around 10 "youths" were congregating and looking quite menacing which i kinda thought okay to, and promptly began to walk to broomhill, cause i was quite scared, which is a different approach cos normally i woudnt give a hoot, but im not normal at the moment- i think because some stuff is being addressed....
but yeah, so i get to town later than planned, but still daylight, so have no qualms at sitting at an empty bus stop.
waiting for the bus, a guy comes up and asks me the time, which i oblige him with, and he then sits down and begins talking to me. turns out the guy is french doesnt know much english but is trying to pull m, as soon as i worked out what was going on, i said quite clearly no, not interested, to which he became quite demanding and aggressive, and had me wedged at the bus stop between him and a pane of glass... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
it is one situation that i cannot handle, and if the bus hadnt gone round the corner at theta moment i would have gone to pieces completely, and i panicked totally, all the way home on the bus, actually....
but i got home okay..this isnt the first time something like that has happened.... last time, a really drunk guy on trhe bus decided to sit on me and wanted to take me home and the driver threw him off the bus in the end...
im not happy about it cause i know my reaction to this isnt going to be very helpful to anything, nd it completely ruined my evening, but it did get better, i rang chris, and by an amazing widget- his phone was on!!! and more surprisingly- he answered!!!!!!
we chatted for ages which was really really cool, cause i dont get to see/speak to him as often as i would like, and im going to go to his house tomorrow night and we're going to play with his recording equipment, and stuff so im really looking forwards to that- am also going to tea with ed, which im kinda looking forwards to also...
lol.. that sounds really bad.....
eugh!
well i need to go and fetch the washing down that needs doing tomorrow, and then go to bed...
need my dad to sharpen my knives too.... (penknives- in case you got worried)
hope you're okay guys,
talk to you soon,
sara
xx

okay, 2 days till wales.... soooooo much uni work to do....
hope i wont be stressing about it all the time while im away....
i ned to sort my email out as well....
arg.. will do that later...
im currently soaking. lol... um.. my skins gone really bad the last week and a half or so, and so im being forward and trying to prevent a really bad outbreak of excma by cremeing myself! - but i hve to leave he stuff for a while to soak in properly.... it seems to be kinda working.... its just long.
i hope abbie got to skegvegas okay without any hitches.....
im then off to philadelphia to get a video to take and then to the crookes cupboard, and to a meeting at the makowers house and then to 7pm prayers!
so busy day... still havent brought all my washing down, tho hopefully i get some new trousers today or tomorrow so i can just put them in the bag...
qlso been taking my combats in cause theyre way too big... even for me- who likes baggy trousers- even madness would be impressed!
aaaaanyways.... am just gonna dump a pile of email in the trash and then am of.... idealy im gonna start my greek tonight..
oh and i may aldso be shot my hsbc today......i have no money in the bank and i dont know if theyve taken the train ticket money out- if they havent then im getting charged.... lots... grrrrrr
hehe
im also worried.. i bought my sister the 'busted' album a few weeks ago... i actually quite like it meself- aRRRRRRRGGGGGHH!!!! i like trashy pop- noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

well, i have two things which are significant to say,
1. i miss abbie already,
2, i got an email yesterday which was well cool, and not spam (for once!)!!!!! - check the new link on the side- its related...

i feel yuck.
maybe there is truth in the phrase "parting is such sweet sorrow" tho what exactly is sweet about it i do not know...
maybe im just having a bit of a crisis....
arg!!!!
roll on tomorrow,
oh and stupid me has worked out that i have the following to do before i get back to uni....

- 1 essay for bib world (750 words)
- 1 roman world portfolio (1500+ words)
- 2 greek assignments
- 1 portfolio for jesus, man or myth (1500 words)
- 1 self appraisal (1000 words)

ooooooooh pants!!!!!!
don even know if i have all of the essay outlines!!!!!!!!
oh oh, im in trouble,
lol...
ive got tomorrow, weds, and next week to do all of that though, so if im disciplined then it will be okay.

lots to think about tho.... like stuff for next year....
im still not convinced i wanna carry on with uni yet!!!!

am gonna go play some seriuos playstation me thinks.....
oh, and drink lots of TEA!!!!! (and ewat a lil of my easter chocolate,)
and begin packing for thuirsday,
finalising lists and tasks for people for wales.....

busy busy....
prayer will be much appreciated mefeels!!!
also.....
I MISS ABBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she goes to spring harvest tomorrow and then has a training block at battersea, so i wont be able to talk to her till at least next weds :(:(:(:(:(:(
although, i am hoping to go to hers sometime after i finish uni- if possible, id love to be able to link that with going to see rich in rugby, that way im not going to the south of the country to come back to sheff to go back to the south of the country!


anyhooo..... early night tonight i think....
ooooh one more thing.... i had /the/ weirdest ever dream last night!!!!!!
i drempt that i was working in an offoce along with abbie, and 5 people from st t's and someone was using LSD and the bosses had found out, and had put sensors into us so they could work out who was guilty, so we all had these LED's which turned green when LSD was detected either in the bloodstream of the person or in the sensor range of the skin surrounding the chip, and corresponding LED's were monitored externally, but the guilty party (who wasnt even working in the office!?) had cottoned on, and so had planted it everywhere, so that it was impossible to tell who was using it, and as a result, everybody was affected by it, and then i dreamed that id got some on my finger as i was eating sherbert and consequently had an LSD trip, which i dreamed, and it was STUPID- it was like everythign was like a really bad 80's pop video, the ones where the camera is either blurry or you see about 6 frames at once, (i think they do it on the video to bohemian rhapsody) so basically everythign was weirdly coloured and in multi vision.......
i woke up sooooooooooooooooooo confused!!!!!
i then told abbie and she laughed lots....
personally i worry.... need to give my brain somethign slightly better to mull over while i sleep i think!!!
anyhow,
catch ya laters
sara
xx

hmmm..... not too happy.
prac was not too good. ed ditched loads of songs then i ditched a couple. lost repetoire.... pants...
hmmmm.
need time out... im rapidly losing the plot me thinks
hehehehe

well, i did post lasty night, but the net connection dropped halfway thru and then i lost all the writing id done!!!! PANTS!
cant be long this mornign cause i need to leacve to go to eds in a bit- we have a band practice today seeing as im sending my guitar away with tomorrow. lol...
lasyt night i was saying how id returned on thursday with a chicken tikka masala and a nan bread, and disappeared to my room with it ,and armed with enough apple juice to sink a small battle cruiser, and had a very lurverly evening with jackie chan :D
well, last night, i did the dsame, with the sequel of the film, and a chinese as oposed to a curry- which was not planned- i was going to have golden drummer sandwiches, but then parents ordered chinese- so i thought why not!?!
cant remember what else had been said...
spent most of last night in bed- from like 7pm cause i was knackered and my back was really hurting- spent 2 hours moving and securing ladders to rehang banners at church, which was actually quite fun. then i really couldnt sleep. you can laugh all you like, but there was something in my room. in the end, i ended up leaving the tv and light on before i could even try and sleep... no way was i having a night on the sofa.
but anyhow...
im currently debating how to break it to the parents that i may /not/ be moving out in july after all.....
abbie is returning in september and really wants to share with me, and im up for that and im willing to stick out another 3 months to make that happen tho dont know if parents are willing to let me... i really REALLY need to move out soon tho, whatever happens with the logistics.
monday to wednesday will be days of work for me.... im actually gonna do some of my portfolio, if not all of it, and i also have an essay to write on biblical seals.... just need to find the essay handout :S

wales is just about sorted... which is nice, so im not stressing too much about it...
anyhoo, better go, and get ready so i can get to ed's...
ttyl.
bye

feeling better today.
yesterday was quite cool. met rich, and he seems really cool. in some ways it was really weird. it felt like abbie wanted me to inspect him and see if he passes my scrutiny.... erk!!!
we chatted, had tea, and mucked around which was really cool, and then we all went to the peace gardens and if youd waked across it was almost the intro to friends, cause there was the big building fountain, and as oppose to a sofa there was the three of us on a bencyh, abbie laid on rich and me laid on abbie... :D
then stayed over at hers where she talked for a while about hmmm... well not hard to guess....and then we went to sleep. we both had a really disturbed night and kept waking up at the same time...
this mornign we then walked to KC as abbie had a meeting with Alex A, and on the way met alan and sarah, which was .... well interesting..... luckily we moved on quite quickly and got to KC and i said i wait outside cause im still a bit freaked about going in there, tho i /will/ on sunday! where Lisa (the kids worker) came out to chat which was cool, and then who should walk out but BT!!!!!!!!
alistair beattie..... man, minus the beard and hair, so i had to do a double take, and he did too, and i used the classic,
"Woah, havent seen you in years!" then realised that yup, i actually hadnt! which was quite amusing... and we chatted for a bit, and that was really cool. Him and Caroline hve planted a church in arbourthorne, wihch is well good. check the link for more....
anyhow got to go. will post more later, like when i get in, oh, one more thing...
MY MONEY FINALLY WENT IN!!!!! woohoo!!! this means the train ticket is booked and im having a curry tonight!
lol.
ttyl
:)

well...in vain i tried to get a doctors appointment...
i also managed to give myself a bruise in the afflicting area last night..... i woke up several time clutching on rather hard... mustve been hurting but i dont remember it, tho it explains the tiredness (sleep) this morning...
today is the day abbie arrives... im really nervous. i guess its because id like to make a good impression on Rich, abbies friend. the last couple of weeks all that abbie has said about it is that "he's really looking forwards to meeting you this time", or "he can't wait to meet you!" 9it just puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on me i guess to live up to his (and abbies) expectations, and i dont want to have to do that. i just want to be me. whoever that is....

im rebelling against a lot of things at the moment.... boxes.... illness.... convention.... assumption... catergeisation... the list goes on...
am feeling a lil better today than yesterday... not quite as sad, and the same achey but i guess i just have a lil more will to get up. im gonna wander to philadelphia in an hour or so after ive got ready and had breakfast, and ill even have lunch today, which will consist of 2 bananas and some grapefruit barley water,.... BUT its lunch and im going to cook for once!!!! going to make one of my new spevcialities.... be it puff pastry surprise (mince and veg covered in pastry) or savoury mince and yorkshire pud.... might even make dessertin honour of the fact that i have guests.....still that depends on whether the money has FINALLY gone through, although i put 20 pounds cash in last night so my train ticket should be fine later and if the other has gone through, then i should be okay till next student loan where i will only owe my mum 40 quid (20 quid from yesterday and 20 quid fone bill) and ed a tenner from the other day
making 50 quid out!!! its cool cause im owing less and less when i get money so soon ill be able to stop getting to the end of my overdraft on my student loan... oh yeah, and i suppose i need to get a job... dont get me wrong im not against it, but i want a job that i suit. i cant cope with rigourous monotony, i need somethign thats varied, preferabley involving several types of media and fun... but doing that and getting paid??? dream on!
i can see it now... im gonna end up working in a shop.... bleugh...(unless it was a music shop)

am just purchasing my train ticket to cardiff now... actually, no, im going to do it tomorrow, as i dont want ot risk getting a harge if my cheques havent cleared...
todays been quite a pants day if im honest... which is quite discouraging.
another doctors appointment required, which i cant have till at least tomorrow afternoon..... :S
i might just go to the walk in centre at the hallamshire to be honest...
on top of that ive been feeling quite down, and i can ignore it for a while which i duly did, so i could get on with things, but ran out of steam to do it at around 1.45pm and people kinda noticed... wish i could just own up to the fact that i feel pants though instead of just going "im fine"... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

i guess its judst one of those faults that i have and need to work on...and to ask for grace and understanding from peopel who meet me in that state of mind... its an automatic defense i guess which needs stopping... tho i have no idea how to do it. i dont want to be someone with endeless defenses... i want to be someone who doesnt need them because i know the truth and while i know that it will take time i would love to see some progress. bring on the blood, sweat, and tears. bring on the heavy stuff, crush me, break me, bring it on.

plan for tomrrow.philadelphia in the mornign and then abbie and rich late afternoon. dont know if ill make 8pm meditation tho....
not to worry. we're going to pray anyhow so....
night

may i just say owwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeee.
i woke up this morning having had a fairly respectable amount of sleep by my standards (6 1/2) hours to find that i couldnt get up.
so i txted ruth to say i wouldnt be there for 9am, and i was sorry (not sure what i /actualy/ wrote was not totally awake) and set my alarm for an hour and a lil later, when i woke up then i still hurt. a lot. but slightly less so so ive managed to drag myself ou of bed, and will set off in around 10 mins. there is no logical reason for this, cause i certinly didnt dance at corporation last night- im always more careful.... its one reason why i dont go to be honest, cause i cant do anythign when i get there!!!!
if i dont get up and do something tho ill just feel sorry for myself.... fingers are really swollen as are wrists... oh well... i dont care today. just going to get on wqith it and prove that it doesnt have to stop me.

got back from corporation half an hour or so ago. it was very strange and surreal. except for two people the whole of KC youth were there....! not all still at church, but that in itself was surreal... i went cause abbie had asked me to and she got stolened!!! wasnt impressed by that, but i left at 11.20pm call me an old biddy if you like, but i want my bed!!!
as well as that my wrists are still hurting. its the really random thing of constant huge ache which you cant do anythign about but its offputting... the other reason would be that i felt like a proper gooseberry.
its nice to matthew's site up and running again, and i must say i like the design....

lots to say but at the moment i just need to go and crash and think about the issues i see and the issues i actually have at the moment. that may sound weird but i know what im referring to and some others may do too...
night y'all

okay am back and about to go to bed. just been on phone to abbie who got home okay and safe, which is brill :)
am about to order ticket for wales...although it isnt 12.50 any more - its gone up to 18.50 but its still quite cheap...... normal price is 54.60 single.... im not fussing and i may have the cash for it soon so yeha...
jkust re registering with the trainline so i dont have to wait for o2mail to logon every time i order....then itll be booked and i can RIP!
am gonna go and have another quiet time in a mo and do some serious assault!
lol. am annoyed that wrists hurt. luckily im beign sensible- been freez\ing them and theyre strapped up for the night so should be okay tomorrow....
night!

okay, well, im on a whistlestop tour back to my house to dump my stuff, check email grab a coffee before heading to the teaching service in approximately half an hour.
this pm saw me catch the v unfortunate bit of the football. hard luck to sheffield utd- it should have been stopped after the first foul, and arsenal should have kicked it out of play after the ref's foul on tonge but hey what can you do, and since when has my opinion counted- im a girl!!!!
lol.
no probs getting back today. my neck/back is a lil less painful but my ears were well bad today-my right one is really painful and my left is blocked...my right one is too but it unblocked not too much later!
hmmm. if shre is to be believed.... my sister seems to be quite prolific at sampling and electronic music with two of her friends....!
im tempted to go and do some myself but im going to refrain and instead i need ot go get changed cause i did the unthinkable today and actually wore a skirt!!!!!
talk later. sis wants pc bvack anyhow.
sara

well, i got packed got to doncaster, dont the kids stuff, and now chilling for the evenin at jo's.... thought i would share some of the stuff thats gone on.

okay, well, this week has been cool in seeing God provide me with money! the first time was on thursday when i realised that id need train fare, knowing that i shouldnt be able to get any money out of the bank, so id prayed that i would get some, and felt i should go to the bank anyway, so i did and i got 10 pounds out of there that i really shouldnt have been able to do!!! the second occasion was today, and i wondered if my cheque had gone through, thinking it could have done but it shouldnt have done til the monday cause it takes three working days, but again id prayed and thought id go. i didnt check my balance, just asked for 10 pounds which it gave me, and then i thought i should check my balance... the cheque is in but not cleared yet. blance avaliable = 0.00.... hmmmmmmmmm! but thank you god anyway. the other way, is that i got paid for the kids stuff we did today and it was way more than i thought, cause it had been mentioned but i was thinking like a tenenr to cover expenses, but that means that my train ticket to cardiff is paid for now!!! praise the Lord!!!!

the other thing which happened was that we'd arranged to meet at the train station at 6 10- 20mins before the train we were going to catch got in. i got a text from jo saying shed be there but a little late- mini disaster. then on the way to the station, my knee came out which meant that i had to stop for a while, and we all (jo, joel, and myself) arrived at the train station with three minutes to go, so we said we'd get the next train got tickets etc and got the next train, which promptly came to a halt outside rotherham... because trhe train in front (the one we were going to get) had broken down and had to be moved! if we'd been on that train we'd have been on there for HOURS!
the other thing was that we were having a conversation on all sorts of churchy related things, from pneumatology to mission week, and there were 2 boys sat in front of us who were listening to everything that we said but trying their hardest to show they werent.... i think we may have said something which sparked a question off....
so yeah!
today was awesome, the kids were SO amazing!!!! they made me feel really unspiritual in some ways- we wrote our own versions of the lords prayer, or made our own T-O-Y prayer (thank you, others, yourself) and the kids were asking us to read then and they were awesome, really breathtaking and humbling to read...

the only bad point however is that my back has been killing since we got the train basically, and i havent done anything to it to warrant that, and the pain is right at the top as opposed to the base, where it tends to be when its constant. this i am not liking very much, but im coping so far.
tomorrow jo and i are leading worship at her parents church and i am really scared in truth. i was under the impression there wouldnt be just us but there is.... its a scary prospect and i dont know why im so worried about it, but i am... been chatting to abbie tho today by text which was cool. she returns home tomorrow and ill see her monday night at corporation.... i may not stay very long but i think ill go and see her, and also nick noble and andrew hawley are resident breakers there now too....which will be cool, and then i see her wednesday with rich, who i finally get to meet and were gonna meet, chat and pray...so hmmm its interesting.

i return home tomorrow at 4pm ish so will be at the teaching service, itll be nice to just go and be!

anyhow im not going to write a huge post cause its hurting my neck even more now, and the heat is really intense. the other thing to mention is that im completely deaf in one ear at the moment again.....grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
im fighting.

if someone wants to drop me a howdy email - that would be loverly- the only emails ive recieved have been from ant- to whom im very grateful that he takes the time to chat with me!!!!!!

sara

its been a VERY bizarre day.
two cool things.many other things not so cool
i had no money, and i have a cheque which wont clear till monday so i prayed that God would provide me with a tenner from the cash machine so i could pay my train fare tomrrow and i got one- even though i really shouldnt have cause id withdrawn over my limit anyhow, and i couldnt do it after..
the second is on the way home- had a really good conversation with a guy called ben. he's a year younger than me, and got into a lot of trouble at school, exded up being expelled and got involved in the gang which gave me hassle. i got on the bus and he got on as well, sat down and started talkign to me! it seems as if he's managed to turn his life round which is cool, and im quite boggled by it.
at the moment i have a lot of questions and ideas and im quite all over the place so im not going to say anymore as i need to pack for the weekend.... im leaving the house at 7.45am tomorrow,so would like to be packed before i go to bed!!!

found this- its quite good-

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
X alting God most high
Y es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

wow... weird experience going on here. gods really on my case about somethign i did earlier... thing is i cant do anythign about it till tomorrow morning cause i wont see the person i need to check it out with.
basically, someone said somethign to me which i dismissed immediately, and i really shouldnt have...
need to go to sleep. back is hurting quite a lot. this isnt a coincidence either.
and id like to state that it isnt going to stop me!

wow, that was actually a decent length post for me, at any rate. cant promise that this will be but ive got a while to waste before going to be injected (more in a lil while).
Im currently sat in uni. by the time i got here there was no point in trying to start any greek as i only had an hour and want to do something to take my mind off the fact that ive got to go and be injected... im not squemish about them, or have a phobia or anything like that- i just tend to react quite badly to them, at least the last 6 ive had have been that way- im just really really glad that in the end i never had to have the immunoglobulin injections or the series of soft gold tipped needles for my wrists...- so yeah, in case people dont know there has been an outbreak of the mumps. this is not the nicest thing to cartch and the sheer number and high risk of complications in catching it as an adult mean that im willing nto go and be immunised, so im off to the octogon in around 15/20 mins to go and have the adult version of MMR as i never had it as a child.

went out again round the philadelphia area (with miriam) and just had some really amazing experiences. this afternoon i was able to share how god has been and is healing my wrists and back and all the stuff associated with that to a lady who had got whiplash and we prayed for healing with her which was awesome, and chatted for ages!
im not gonna go into it too much cause i dont think itsd right but that was a challenge for me, the whoile week has been a challenge for me i guess, as ive been constantly battling against my fear of talking to people and getting really shy, but god has been sooooooooo gracious so far and i feel really blessed that it hasnt been a huge obstacle.

at the moment one of the big challenges that im having i think is found in revelation 3 verses 15-16:

"15:I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot!
16: So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.

i guess the challenge is really am i hot or cold, or am i lukewarm?
i dont want to be lukewarm- i would rather be cold than lukewarm. i want to be hot, burning hot, and i worry that im not. That im lukewarm, and i guess that i need to say that part of that is the enemy trying to make me doubt myself and my worth to god, and i just need to ask that if im lukewarm, that I would become hot, and if im not lukewarm that i would know that.

the last week and a bit or so ive had a real hunger for God again which has been cool, and i pray that that would grow and that i wouldnt be satisfied but thirst for more.
Ive been really fed up with convention and mediocre back seat living, and im not saying that im becoming an all out in your face well extroverted person, but im jsut wanting to get rid of all the trappings and things which hinder i guess, and move out into what god wants for me not what people think that they think god wants for me.
i have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge essayt about this saved and what it means on several levels and what will happen if we can do this, partly inspired by tommy tenney's "the God chasers, Tozer's "in pursuit of God", and Smith Wigglesworth on faith, and of course the bible... and historical things...
anyway i have to go. after this im going to seven pm prayerscause my backs being a bit niggly and then small group.

take care,
sara

just got back from a very busy day!
went out on mission which was really cool (it's mission week at church), went round philadelphia area with miriam and yeah just some really good stuff going on!
from then a meeting with jo and joel about the weekend and doncaster, to town and to meet chris and ed, unfortunately dave couldnt make it, but he really wants to go to the pub wiht me at some point while he's back in sheffield. we went to pizza hut (again- man why cant we be more inventivce than pizza hut or weatherspoons- oh i forgot- poor students....) and from then on to UGC to see 'the core'. i have to say it was nice to see a film with a plot, which while being quite unlikely, was actually believable, built on fact and well researched, and on top of that, i have now decided that i didnt waste two years doing an a level in physics, as i understood the whole concepts of the film, and while it meant that i sat and pointed out the minor discrepencies i was like- woohoo i understand this!!!!!!!

it was nice....
need to go to bed now tho- more mission stuff tomorrow, and then need to do my greek and then prayers and small group- busy day for sure... but not to worry. and my cold has almost gone. this is an amazing thing, because it went to my chest which generally takes about a month to go and its taken 3 days so far. My faith is really growing and i dont want to be complacent so its time to up the ante. Im keeping going with prayer for my back but on top of that i think that its now right to pray that my immune system be restored back to full thingy, cause its been down since the unexplainable virusy thing that i had 2 years ago and to some extent never shook off. when i have a lil more time ill explain how the whole thing has worked out... oh hang on ill do it now. 5 mins wont hurt. im tired anyhow!
ok. well, when the whole healing thing first became an issue i was a bit kinda 'aaaaaarg' about it and didnt want to go for the full thing, purely cause i lacked faith hugely, and didnt want to be disappointed so i gave it to god who kinda gave me an order of what to be focussing on in turn (which may sound weird but im not questioning god! its his plan not mine!!!) and the first thing was my back and the stuff to go with it, with my wrists and knees and stuff, then the after effects of the virusy thing, followed by somethignelse and finishing with my ears, which if im honest i was not happy about cause it seemed like the easiest thigns were last...
but i can see now thru the stuff thats happened that gods been worjkign through it and stuff, and there has been progress with my back, and my wrists are so much better than they have been since the problems kicked inl, and while they still click a lot, which hurts, other than that they dont ache very much now, and the swelling is hardly aroudn which is really cool, and i need to be working on building some of the strengh back in them cause they are quite weak, (as probven ewhen i went bowling the other week - a major thing in itself cause that would have killed them for a month or so- and i have to bowl with an 8. i used to use a 12/14) and theres less pain in my back and stuff .
now i think gods sayign to keep going with that, cause the whoile process will be a gradual one, and to begin pressing in with the immune system/run down/tired stuff, wihch is cool...
but with that i really must go to bed cause i am soooooo tired. way past my bedtime. its cause im not sleeping properly at the moment...
take care,
night.
sara

lol... i liked this a lot!!!!

A Good Question

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103% ?
Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100% ?
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, and bullshit will put you over the top.

am currently debating what im to do with the gigging (seeing of) situation....
ive seen some amazing bands over the last year including diamondhead, saxon, and coming up are whitesnake, bonjovi, and some quite heavy bands...
i dont know...
at the moment, i think i just need to wait.

im really up for a lot of stuff at the moment, and its well exciting, im just sooooooooooooooooooooo up for it! its good, cause ive not been this raaaaaaaaaaaaaah for a while now...
lots of stuff going on. my hunger for god is very there and while its kinda frustrating at times its really good, im being encouraged to go for stuff...

the other thing i worked out earlier is why i really hate being complimented about my singing, especially if it's to do with worship stuff... its because i dont want peopel to be hearing my voice and going "oh thats nice" i want them to be meeting Jesus!!!!!! im not saying that you cant do both or notice things like that, but i guess it just makes me wonder just what is going on, and am i distracting people from that?!?!?!
oooooh deep thought for this time of the day
need to go clear my bed and then sleep. am meeting miriam at safeway in the mornign...tho i dont know what time!!!! lol

oooops... well my room is nearly clean and the after eight mint that had embedded itself in the carpet is on its way to being unembedded.... with the aid of a chopstick!!!!

anyway,
im outta here.....


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

oooookay..... just been talking to abbie on the phone. talked thru whats happening in sheffield at the moment, and whats happening elsewhere... she managed to get concussion yesterday (ooooops!). lol. after what weve been talking about over the last couple of weeks, she really cant wait to get back to sheffield, and to see for herself which is cool.
many things impacting me at the moment, but i would like to take this opportunity to say that god is amazing!
sara

okay... loads going on.... couple of things have made me think a lil but mmm. yeha...
just had some pork for dinner which was quite nice.. its very rare i eat meat now, as i dont cook it generally.
feel quite ill- it just really hurts when i cough... eugh...
need to take a bit of time out i think this afternoon before goingto church...

well, um.. just looked at the "interesting" spelling mistakes on my last post..... lol...
hehe
the whole night of prayer was brill... loads of stuff going on, and my voice lasted which was good. also continued to be challenged about taking compliments with 2 extremes in terms of expressing them...not really much to say- am still processing it- i should be talking to abbie at the moment, but she's had to babysitand theres no signal so i can't....
today i went home and slept for a total of aorund 6 hours, tho only 2-3 was uninterrupted...im not sleeping too well again which is pants but im gonna leave it for a while and see how it goes before i jump to conclusions that ive switched to phase 2 or 3...

church tomorrow morning and evening. woohoo!

one thing i think has happened recently is that ive become a lil less phased about some stuff which has helped in the expression of my worship and just generally spending time with god, which is cool, and i hope that that continues to improve.

wow ive just realised that i can almost touch type properly, and im only making a couple of mistakes....
a bit more practise and ill be able to do it, although it is still quicker for me to type by not looking at the screen...

ttyl.

heya, this will be the last post till tomorrow evenign as im about to head back to philadelphia.
update. my throat is still better, doesnt hurt, unless i cough, which isnt very often at the moment....
im quite bunged up tho today, so lets all pray that it gets totally healed before 6pm.
i have faith that it will be!
im really looking forqwards to tonight, even tho i did kinda dozer off in my last lecture before the easter break! im now free till may the 5th!!!
woohoo!!!!!!!
also have my exam timetable!
theyre on the 6th 9th 11th and 12th of june, and i finish with greek, so i finish on the 12th of junbe...

also some cool news is that my friend rich and his loovely wifey tracy are making their way up to sheffield in may!
and abbie is thinking about coming home...
:)

catch ya laters
x

Testimony!
Okay, as previously mentioned ive had a really bad throat all day, and it got worse as the day went on, and so i decided that im well fed up of it being like this every time i go to sing or anything, and went to 7pm prayers, and got prayer for it , and its much better now!!! i can talk properly again and my sinuses arent hurting anymore, and my throat is nearly completely normal again- still a little graty but God has done this much i'm sure He'll do the rest before i wake up tomorrow morning.
im well excited- this is the first kinda big thing that there has been any real breakthrough in (my back seems to be a very gradual, but still exciting thing) and i dont know if God has healed it totally or just this time, but im praying in faith that its permanant.

anyway, thats about all ive got to say. must go back to the greek now.
byeeeee
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hmmm. well scrub the rearranging it all into a nice post- i can ne be bothered.
im quyite stuffed up at this particular moment, but im gonna head to 7pm prayers, after ive finished this post and a couple of emails which i need to do.
im really not too sure as to what im going to post about...i could have a mini rant about the greek... or i could have a mini rant about band stuff, but im not going to because i dont need to. i dont need to stress about it, so im not going to.
im looking forwards to finishing uni tomorrow... although im not looking forwards to getting my new guitar down to philadelphia cause its a huuuuuuuuuuge box, but i then only have to get it from there to crosspool on saturday morning which is nice.
speaking of crosspool, i better get ready to go and finish taking the photographs for ruth- she needs them by 10.30 am tomorrow morning, and i dont want to have to go to crosspool before i go to the developers....
bye.

.... or maybe not

uggggggggggghhhhhh
i wentto bed last night knowing that when i woke up this morning would feel this way.
yup, i have a cold and sore throat. how did i know that? was it the tingley/dry feelign in the back of my throat as i climbed the wooden hill to get to my bed? no.
i knew because tomorrow (friday) i have to sing. this may not make any sense to anyone, but im WELL pissed off by it.
it happens every time. when i was doig lots of sheffield choirs stuff,when i sang in the worship, even when gigging, two days before a concert id suddenly get a cold and feel really lousy up to the concert which id then go and do and generally be okay. the more i was doing the worse the cold. so when everi had anything like a solo, (which thinking about it was actually quite often... :S) the codl would be worse. and now its back. the first time in a good few months at least that im doing anything vaguely involving the public and singing and i get a cold. go figure.

well i guess i know where im going to be this evening at 7pm!

im utterly fed up of it. it isnt just a coincidence, that the thing i always loved to do (still do) and the only thing that i will actually give myself any credit for most of the time, comes under such blatant fire when i want to do it. i could really really do with it going away, if only because i dont like me when im ill. i get crabby and just want to go and hide away from everything nd everyone, and you can always guarentee that that is when you see more people than youve seen in the last month put together!
im sorry for ranting at you but grrrrrrr!!!!

if anyone can pray it would be nice....:)

anyway with the minor rant over, lets go back a couple of days...
well, im gonna do my greek this morning and hand it in this afternoon.... im also gonna have to call any band prac tomorrow,
um.. its really been another non attendance week at uni. ive meant to go in, just most of the time been too tired, or woke up too late.
went to jo's on tuesday, which was nice...it was cool, took some photo's of firth park yesterday and gave them to ruth at philly.
not really very exciting, chatted to abbie on sunday, in the break in the teachign service- she'd ung me in the worship about the same thing i was gonna text her about later... which was bizzare, which was the proposed growth in relationship between KC and st T's. Its quite bizarre because its something abbie and myself have talked about and prayed about for years now... hmm go back to the beginnig woudl be helpful.
before i came to st T's i was a member of KC, which is how abbie and i became best friends as we were yoof together, and there have been a few problems but KC is back on its feet now, and weve both said so many times how it would be really good for sheffield if KC and St T's had really good links and did some stuff together, so to hear that that was possibly going to be taking place was like "YEAH!" it could be amazing, but needs caution as im sure will happen, as from what abbie said, what's been said to KC isnt all of the details but more a comment, and now some of the members there are worried that st T's are goign for a 'hostile takeover' , and while im sure that that isnt the case, concerns like that need addressing.. i personally think its all still very early to say very much, but thsat was mainly for abbies benefit cause she asked me to put what we'd said down in writing...

anyhow, i realy need to do the greek. need to get some more buttercup syrup first tho.
btw, buttercup syrup is v good for colds.

what a bitty post! might edit it into a better written piece of english later...

hmmmmm
want to sort some band stuff out...
need phil to get back to me tho...
arg.
also got greek todo now, but i know aboiut ftp servers now which is cool...so i may be able to sort it out fairly soon, tho that will be a next week job probably cause i finish uni on friday!!!